I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
he had hair everywhere except his balls
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
