I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You left your phone here
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