So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
