the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
