Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
