There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Sext me about skeletons
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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