so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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