literally had 100 drinks last night.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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