Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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