5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
