This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
