What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
