i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize