did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
