Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
