Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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