Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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