I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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