Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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