yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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