a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
