Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
