my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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