It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
