My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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