we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
