I wish I could punch you in the face.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
