Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
