Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
