can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
