can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
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