is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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