You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
