She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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