if you like me you must not know who I am
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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