when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
