It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
