Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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