I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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