No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize