I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
