im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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