im drinking this country out of the recession.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
