I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
