Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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