At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize