Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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