Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
