you win again, gameday.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
