it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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