Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
you made out with another girl for some wings
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dick very happy bro
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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