i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I still have a little drunk in my system
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
