i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
