At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
