my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
How's work?
Spinning.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
