Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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