i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
