I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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