Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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