We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
